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Don't let Hallmark fool you, members. Your heart is not a two-dimensional paper cut-out meant to be dressed up with cherubs and contrived sentiment then given away to someone else. No, as a Hot Electric, Angioblastic, Rhythm Train, your heart is the pump that gets you back to you. So this week, as Valentine's Day looms on the horizon and Eros sits like a don waiting for protection money, don't get hung up on the slings and arrows of sap. Instead, lay hands on a copy of Gray's anatomy, open to plate 505, and laud with love your heart's anatomical, kinetic, muscular greatness and remember: it's keeping time for you. The least you can do is tap your foot to the beat.
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